The Husband after God’s own Heart!

Sermon on JANUARY 24 by Pastor Roland Eskinazi

Scripture:  1 Peter 3:7

Both the culture and sometimes the church can confuse biblical masculinity. How does God define true manhood?  What does a husband after God’s own heart look like?  Wives, is there a reasonable standard to which to hold before your husband?

Men, if you desire to be such a husband:


‘…dwell together with your wives according to knowledge’

  • If you love your wife, you have left ignorance for insight 

Studying your wife can only happen if you know God and in knowing Him, embraced His plan for your marriage.

  • You understand your wife when you love her for who she is, as she is 

We are not called to be experts on all women – study your wife! Not all women fall into the same category. While Martha needed teaching on the resurrection, Mary simply needed someone to weep with her (John 11)   


‘…treat them with respect as the weak-er partner ‘

  • Respect your wife – by owning up to your common frailty  (1 Pet 1:24

‘The husband who is generally the stronger (physically), yet is weak too; for both are vessels on earth and therefore frail; both polluted with sin and therefore subject to the multitude of sinful follies and frailties’.
(Archbishop Leighton)

  • Respect your wife – by prizing her, not crushing her 

‘…as the weaker vessel, grant her honour ‘

When something is precious to you, you treat it carefully and prize it. See Christ and His attitude to the church (Eph. 5:25)
‘ Almost all women stand by their men. Very few men stand by their wives.’  (An oncologist to Dr. Robertson Mcquilkin when he was amazed that so many were struck by his decision to resign his job to care for his wife Muriel when she had Alzheimer’s Disease)


‘…as a fellow-heir with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers’.

  • Pray – because there is a wonder you share 

Husbands, don’t lose the wonder that you go to sleep with a queen, an heiress of the world.

  • Pray – because there is a work that will never end 

Remember! Your life is going to slip away quickly. What will you do with this chapter of life? Wise living is investing in Christ and the kingdom.


  1. Think of your family and the culture you are from? What is the understanding of biblical masculinity? The thinking of how a husband should lead his home? How does it compare with what Peter says here, and what Paul says in Eph. 5:25-33?
  2. If you are a husband think of some of the questions you may ask that would help you to know and care for your wife? How would understanding your own sinfulness and flaws help you here? How else apart from asking can you understand her better and get to know her fears, what encourages or discourages her and what communicates love to her?
  3. What can we learn as men from the way Christ loves all who make us His church? How would you describe the love of Christ for you? How should this filter into what we say to our wives, how we say it and how we treat them?
  4. Why as husbands do we often find it difficult to pray with our wives? Why is this important? Do you have a regular time of prayer with your spouse? Think of all the excuses you might make to avoiding this. Now ask forgiveness from the Lord where you may have failed in this area and ask Him to help you be courageous enough to get on your knees

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Photo credit Haislet